As I’m nearing the end of my 20s I’m learning some startling things about myself. Not that I’ve ever been unsure of who I am, but my self-awareness and self-belief have increased dramatically this year. I’ve started to go to counselling, I’ve taken up meditation and I’m learning to rely more and more on God and His truth.
Things I’ve learnt that I wish to share (in no particular order):
1. My disability doesn’t define me. I’ve always known this, but I don’t always believe it.
2. Just because I’m not “smart” as per my own expectations or society’s definition of what it means to be smart, it doesn’t mean I’m stupid.
3. I’m so passionate about children, young adults and working to the best of your ability.
4. I have to work twice as hard to be average or good at something due to my disability. For the better, this has instilled in me a drive to not let anything get in the way of what I want to achieve. At the moment, my focus is on God; to allow Him to guide my life as crazy as it feels: working part-time, being a mum and a wife whilst expecting my second child in July. This seems to take up so much energy that I feel I have little time for anything else.
5. I expect too much of myself.
6. I love writing, making things and photography. However, due to my mental capacity, I can’t do everything at once. Life has to happen one step at a time.
In all of this rambling, basically I want to encourage people to be themselves. Or discover who they are. Work twice as hard than you had originally planned and don’t always expect things to go your way. You will be disappointed, you will get rejected and you will make mistakes. Unfortunately, that’s how things go sometimes. But it’s through those hard and disappointing times where you have a choice. Persist or give up. Giving up is easier than to try. There is an effort in giving up and a sadness I will not dispute because I’ve struggled with depression. But giving up means you don’t have to work as hard. I have given up on things, and I find this is easier than to see the positive. Persisting is tougher, because it means more hard work. It means trying to see the positive in an outcome that failed.
My goodness this has been an enlightening post hasn’t it?