It’s amazing how the numbers on the bathroom scales can affect your self esteem and body confidence. I jumped on this morning to discover that I had lost about 5kg. I had to get on and off to make sure the scales weren’t lying to me. If so, it’s a very clever appliance that’s tricking me into believing 5kg has mysteriously vanished somewhere around my midsection. My clothes don’t feel any lighter, everything about my body feels the same, yet at the same time I’m imagining what one of my dresses will look like on me after not fitting into it for about 6 months. Maybe all that work and effort is starting to pay off.
After a gruelling 8 months at the gym, endless hours (and an empty wallet) of physio and remedial massage (to assist in the strengthening and rehabilitation of my hip and my neck), new glasses, new diet and taking up walking as a sport must be paying off. The irony of me being only 26 and already suffering from chronic pain are not lost on me as I should be at my most healthiest according to most health experts. I can say from experience; it sucks.
So after all this I still think those numbers on a piece of equipment someone designed so many years ago still makes all the difference. But maybe I shouldn’t put my faith into something that I can smash with a hammer to decide if I’m going to feel good about myself for the day. It comes down to body confidence and being happy in the body God gives you. This is much easier said than done, especially when society tells you something else is considered beautiful. How can we compare to the images we see? And why do I get the impression designers style clothes with only one body type in mind? I can’t determine my self worth and body confidence set by the standards of society, and being a Christian it’s even more of a struggle not not let all that is harmful in the world to affect me. Thankfully my God is bigger than I could possibly imagine, but I do have those days.